This is the personal story of Dame Margaret Anstee's experiences as Special Representative of the Secretary-General of the UN for Angola and Head of the UN peacekeeping mission there from February 1992 to June 1993. Formerly a colony of Portugal, Angola was awarded independence following the democratization of Portugal in 1975. After independence, disagreement emerged between Angola's main ethno-political groups which resulted in one of the most bloody civil wars the world has known. The author, the first woman to head a peacekeeping mission, intersperses personal experiences with events as they unfold, describing the horrendous sufferings of the Angolan people and analyses the reasons for the collapse of the process and the lessons for UN peacekeeping generally.