At last, the book that answers the question on every parent's mind: Why does my toddler hate me? Okay, it's not really hate. It's just that a little psychopath who walks through life 100% convinced that he or she is the center of the universe does not care that you have a heart, a mind, or a soul. You are simply a skin-covered robot tall enough to reach the candy on top of the fridge. And clean up the rage-vomit when you make the fatal mistake of cutting off the crust on your toddler's toast. (Or not cutting it off--seriously, you can't win.) Includes: The theory of toddler evolution Mealtime (AKA Hell)Your unraveling lifeAnd how not to die inside